Do Your Children Feel Listened To? What's The Scoop On Listening?

By Barbara Underdown

Is listening important? When was the last time you really felt listened to? If you are like the majority, that probably is never. When was the last time you didn't say anything and just listened to what your child was saying? They like to feel listened to as well.

Listening is a skill. We sit down for coffee with a friend and they talk about the latest gadget, or TV show, and you are sitting there, bursting out of your skin to butt in and add your little bit to the story. True? If you are like most people, you even have your answer rehearsed in your mind even before they have finished speaking. I know I have.

Well, try putting your agenda aside and when you have that next cuppa with a friend, or when your child comes in from play and wants to tell you all about it, just listen!

That's right, just listen.

It is not hard, it seems, but it does take practice and discipline?

I know someone who has a friend who even cuts her off when she is talking to have her say. It has happened to me too and I am the sort of person who just shuts up. My mother in law does this to me all the time. I just shut up. She gets the hint and usually says, "Oh, sorry, what were you saying?"

It can be frustrating to be with people who just have to talk all the time, they know everything and they have done everything. You try telling someone about your day, and they cut you off and say, "I know what you mean." And they continue to tell you all about their day and how tragic it was. How exhausting to be with them. Are you one of them? If you are, then you can do something about it. Next time you are chatting with someone or someone is trying to chat with you, just let them talk and learn to listen. Set aside your agenda and be in the present moment. Just focus on them and what they are saying and you will absolutely make their day. As you do it to others, you will find others will do it for you too.

Listening is so simple, yet very few of us feel truly listened to. Try spending some time in the next few days to listen to someone, your child, your friend, your partner. Just listen.

Barb Underdown is a parent of 5 adult children and has 9 grandchildren. She and her husband Terry have fostered over a dozen children and homeschooled some of them with their 5 children. Terry and Barb have a passion to help parents realize the enormous benefit of good literature and spending time reading to children, building imagination, literacy and heaps more.... You can find out more at http://www.aesopfablestoday.com